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12 Dec 2017

Pacific Book Review Star: Your First Step to Re-Create Your Life in Oneness

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Dear Readers,

I have a very good news to share… Your First Step to Re-Create Your Life in Oneness received a very positive book review… I am sharing it below:

Title: Your First Step to Re-Create Your Life in Oneness: Awareness
Author: Kayla Wholey, PhD.
Publisher: Toplink Publishing
Pages: 251
ISBN: 1504346394
Genre: Self Help; Personal Growth, Religion & Spirituality
Reviewed by: Jennifer Weiss
Pacific Book Review Star
Awarded to Books of Excellent Merit
There are times throughout our lives when we feel the need to recreate ourselves. Sometimes we need to take a step back and re-evaluate our lives to discover ways to change our lives, in order to really experience life more deeply. There are many books on the market, which promise to help readers find self-awareness; the sense of being one with one’s own self. Yet few of those books capture the solutions to life’s problems or force readers to really look at their own actions to make a change to the degree of this book, Your First Step to Re-Create Your Life in Oneness: Awareness. Dr. Kayla Wholey aims to aid readers in becoming aware of their actions and how those actions affect their daily life. It is a tool to help fix ongoing problems within one’s life; to aid in realizing one’s dreams and true potential.
Dr. Wholey uses real life examples to model the solutions and tips which are presented throughout this book. The examples she uses are relatable and easy to understand, so readers can certainly connect with her methodology. Readers are easily able to look at these real life examples and think of something they have experienced. Dr. Wholey writes about things, which initially block and inhibit us from being aware; then offers tips on how to change habits to recreate your life, to refocus in different ways to live a fuller, more aware life.
This is a book readers can pick up, read for a while, then put down to introspectively think about what was written as it gets all too real and is a lot to absorb. Dr. Wholey does not sugar coat things as she lays it all out for readers to understand. The tips and tools she provides are easy to understand and put into everyday practice. You will want to read this book multiple times, applying these strategies to different areas of life. This is the perfect book to begin your journey in changing your life for the better. After reading the book and putting the tips and solutions to work in your life, you will never be the same.
If you are looking at your life and desire to discover a way to change things, to enable yourself to live life to the fullest, achieve your dreams and potential, then this is a book you need to read. It is perfect for someone who has tried other programs to no avail, or who may have just decided to take a step forward to recreate themself. I found myself taking notes, highlighting passages and now telling my friends about the things I learned within this 251-page book. Your First Step to Re-Create Your Life in Oneness: Awareness challenges readers to become aware of the decisions they make daily, and take the steps needed to alter those choices to live a better, happier life. This is certainly the best book I have read in a long while which has made an indelible impact on my way of seeing my own life, as I am sure it will for all those fortunate enough to read this book.

17 Nov 2017

Start with a Definition

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Start with a Definition

Do you know that through using the tool of awareness in the right way, you can both create the favorable and prevent the unfavorable outcomes in your life? Let me give you some examples:

Starting with favorable ones (from more specific to more general):

  • Passing an important exam successfully
  • Getting to a place on time
  • Completing a job interview successfully
  • Hearing from someone you are expecting a call for a while
  • Having a successful meeting with a client
  • Finally finding someone in love who is a wonderful match
  • Having a family and children
  • Getting promoted
  • Getting regular raises and earning good salary
  • Starting a successful business and so on. This list can go forever…

How about the unfavorable outcomes you’d like to avoid or wish they never happen:

  • Stuck in a heavy traffic on your way to a very important meeting/appointment
  • Having a traffic accident with minor or major injuries
  • Coming across somebody who wasn’t so nice to you and this ruined your whole day
  • Trip and fall on your way to school/work resulting in minor/major injuries
  • Having your wallet stolen while waiting in the train station
  • Getting a serious flu on an important day
  • Losing your job by getting fired/through downsizing/business being closed
  • Losing your important relationships (family/friends)
  • Having frequent illness symptoms (different body areas/parts)
  • Having chronic illnesses
  • Being bullied at work/school in different periods of your life

And this list can also go forever…

Yes, it might seem impossible and difficult to understand at first, but with using the awareness tool at the right way and the right time, you can create your desired experience and prevent the undesired experience.

In my earlier blog, I left you with this question: With your current awareness level, how do you define your problem/goal? And I said, definition is the first step. Why? Because only through the type of definition you can find the key to a solution. Let me give you an example:

Let’s say your problem is being depressed from time to time for no apparent reason and this has been like this almost all your life. If you define it the way I just did, then what would be the solution? It might be harder to answer as it seems very general and vague. How about if you happen to realize that you feel depressed usually when:

  • You are expecting something to happen and you either do not receive a positive result or there is no result

To go more specific:

  • You are in the period of your life where you are looking for a better job than you have right now, and you are applying to certain positions and you either receive rejection letters or you do not receive any news regarding your application.

To go even more specific:

  • You are in the media business for almost 15 years and it looks like a time has come for a change in responsibility level which your current company doesn’t seem to care about. And you are applying for jobs in the same industry however, despite your high experience level, it seems nothing is showing up for you as an opportunity.

My question: Which definition is easier to deal with in terms of awareness work?

Answer: Always shoot for being specific by operationally defining what your problem is. By operational definition, I basically mean try to exemplify your problem before trying to look for an awareness related solution.

See you next week…

Kayla

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

26 Oct 2017

Using Awareness as a Tool

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Using Awareness as a Tool

Today we see an immense number of awareness-related material out there. It looks like everyone agrees on one single thing: Awareness is important and you need to be aware of yourself, your surroundings including your relationships, your daily actions and your goals. But from what we read, we usually might feel a little puzzled at times about especially one thing: Why do we need Awareness really? Yes being aware is good for us, for our well-being, for our society and the world. Awareness is now mentioned everywhere including academic journals, daily newspapers and popular magazines (you can see thousands of articles and papers written now especially under the term mindfulness which is a form of awareness). However, it is not yet so clear why we need it and more importantly, how we can use it for the betterment of our beingness and our societies.

Throughout my career as a psychologist, a college professor, an entrepreneur and a spiritual leader, I’ve been working on awareness at personal, educational, scientific and spiritual levels. And during that time of study and years of practice, I have come to draw some important conclusions I will share with you in this short blog. Let me start out by simply saying this: Awareness is in fact a very useful tool if you know how to use it. If you do not know how to use it, here’s what happens: You spend time and maybe some money to achieve more awareness and it becomes an end in itself. You are more aware of your feelings, your thoughts, your actions but you do not know what to do with this kind of knowledge. This is like knowing the exact ingredients of each food recipe but not knowing how to cook the food itself.

Today when we look at the general problems that the world population is experiencing today we see them outlined in five main areas:

• Health (including mental health)
• Money
• Career
• Family (Marriage, Parenting)
• Social Relationships (including Romantic ones)

And it sometimes may seem like a mysterious puzzle to solve even if you have increased awareness of yourself. For example, you might observe that you are having either one or more of the above even though you think you have been working on your awareness to a good extent. Here the problem is not you lacking/needing any more awareness, but actually not knowing how to use it. Sometimes we hear stories of miraculous healings of health, relationships and other aspects of life and we attribute that to faith, luck and intense Divine power. Although they surely help us along the way, being open to that kind of power also requires us to use our awareness to the capacity that opens up the doors for you.

At a more subtle and concrete level, you probably know that almost any kind of problem in our life is a result of a kind of beingness that we have developed over the years and the key to that beingness is our ability to use awareness as tool to unlock our inner power to turn things around.
As with all levels of expertise, you become better at using this tool as you practice regularly. When it becomes almost a daily habit, you do not even know how you use it to your best benefit regarding your life goals.
For you to better understand what I mean in this blog, I would like you to step back, think about your goals in relation to either one or the other (or both, if you like):

• Solving current problems as soon as possible
• Choosing a life goal and start working on it as soon as possible

And I am leaving you with the following question to cultivate your awareness as a tool:

With your current awareness level, how do you define your problem/goal?

Definition is the first step.

See you next week…

Kayla Wholey, PhD.
Author of the book “Your First Step to Re-create Your Life in Oneness: Awareness”
www.groupofchange.com

26 May 2017

Manchester Bomb Attack: The World is Calling for Oneness through Higher Consciousness

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It is of tremendous sorrow that we heard about the news on the bomb attack on May 22, Monday of this week, in Manchester, England. The world is hearing these types of news more frequently compared to the past where there only used to be battles on the field. Unfortunately, years after 2000 brought with them different types of wars which are very hard to respond to, let alone a possibility to stop them, they are tremendously unpredictable. We call them “terror attacks” usually carried out by an individual or a few people but having an enormous impact on how we live the rest of our lives, how we perceive the world around us, and the type of security we feel for ourselves and our loved ones. Beyond losing lives, we are living with a psychology of fear, threat and terror. In this type of environment it becomes a lot harder to concentrate on our life goals, our individual well being, in addition to our families, friends and communities.

While the whys and hows of these events around us circulate our minds, it is also important to take a moment to “reperceive” what is going on not as a “cause” but as a “result” of certain dysfunctionalities which has accumulated in this world not for years or decades, but for centuries, or even millenia. The human mind is set to focus on survival rather than evolution from the beginning. This focus on survival has led to living lives with a big concern to “protect oneself” rather than a concern for improvement. This means, we are used to living our lives in a way to “preserve” our beings rather than “look into our beingness and make changes for being more healthy and functional”. With the religious teachings, our ideas about this type of preservation were perpetuated. In addition, we have started to believe that God is the only force that could protect us from the unknown, the bad or the evil. This eventually led to a belief that there is nothing we can do as humans beyond a certain point. It is all in God’s hands especially in disasterous situations such as climate changes, earthquakes, terrible floods, and also wars. As those events came along one by one, especially in a very unpredictable manner, we strenghthened our tendencies to cling on to an invisible higher power.

This type of belief pattern has dominated human consciousness for centuries, and it is still not very different today, against all the improvements in technology, communication, logistics, machinery, and the life styles. Compared to the past, it is easier now to get to places, to hear about news, to communicate, to produce goods, and to make new improvements in our physical world. In fact, our rapid growth in each of these areas has become unstoppable given the way we are discovering something new everyday, every moment. However, against all these discoveries in our physical realm, we have not really gone very far in terms of discovering what is “inside” of us as human beings. Our inner power, emotions, thought patterns, in general, our whole being is still waiting there to be discovered. We were and we are still so preoccupied with what is around us that we are constantly ignoring that there are things to be discovered inside which eventually lead to what is going on outside.

Because this type of inner work is so much neglected by the humans for centuries, we could not make much progress in our human consciousness. You might naturally react and say: “Hey, these events around us are a result of certain ideologies and beliefs that have nothing to do with who I am or my loved ones.” and the solution might appear to you as increasing nations’ security systems, putting more protection walls around each country, and getting more armed against those evil forces which are there to get you any moment. I have to say, they are only temporary remedies. There will always be a threat to our survival if we live with that level of consciousness in our daily lives.

Let me give you an example to make my point more clear: Let’s start with very micro issues: How many of you are having inner conflicts and willing to look into them for a resolution? How many of you are having conflictual issues inside your families and close circle of social networks and working to solve them? On a wider scale, how many of you are responding to social issues going around you which obviously appear to you as injustice, inequality, mistreatment…etc.? On a larger scale, are you perceiving what is going around in any part of the world as if your own?

The world is full of stories where thousands of lives come to an end because of several reasons, ranging from personal to societal to political, almost everyday. Unless we take action as individuals, to start looking deeply into who we are, what we experience, what we accept and reject, how we divide and separate, and eventually what we do, our environments will reflect more of this type of ignorance.

To be able to start planting the seeds for oneness, we need to first start oneness within.

Kayla Wholey, PhD.

18 Oct 2016

My Book “Your First Step to Re-Create your Life in Oneness: Awareness” is out!

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Dear Groupofchange.com subscribers and followers, I’ve been very silent since my last post and the major reason for that is I’ve been working hard since the beginning of 2014 to write and publish my first book on Personal Oneness. Finally, it is out!

“Your First Step to Re-Creat your Life in Oneness: Awareness” aims to help all readers to be able use awareness as an important tool to re-create their lives from scratch. Here is the text from my presş release:

In “Your First Step to Re-Create Your Life in Oneness: Awareness” (published by Balboa Press), author Kayla Wholey, PhD., aims to help readers recreate their lives by achieving oneness with what the author describes as “the mind-body-soul levels” by demonstrating real-life examples in a practical format.

“Awareness is the first necessary step to achieve oneness inside. After oneness is achieved, it is lot easier to re-create your life from scratch (including all different life domains),” says Wholey. “By using awareness as your first tool, you can heal and transform yourself starting by removing blocks in your awareness and then applying simple awareness tips and suggestions.”

“Many books under the field of spiritual transformation usually talk about the problem and its possible solutions mostly in a cognitive way meaning the authors try to explain the remedies in a style which I call theoretical,” Wholey explains. “This book goes a little further beyond by offering a unique practical guide for the readers to reach fulfillment and happiness in their new lives by enabling individual oneness.”

“Your First Step to Re-Create Your Life in Oneness”
By Kayla Wholey, PhD.
Hardcover | 5.5 x 8.5 in | 248 pages | ISBN 9781504346405
Softcover | 5.5 x 8.5 in | 248 pages | ISBN 9781504346399
E-Book | 248 pages | ISBN 9781504346412
Available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Here is the book sellers information:

Link: http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000613759/Your-First-Step-to-ReCreate-Your-Life-in-Oneness.aspx

Link: https://books.google.com/books?id=6O2UCwAAQBAJ&dq=Kayla+Wholey,+PhD.+Your+First+Step+to+Re-Create+Your+Life+in+Oneness&source=gbs_navlinks_s

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Your-First-Step-Re-Create-Oneness/dp/1504346394/

Link: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/your-first-step-to-re-create-your-life-in-oneness-phd-kayla-wholey/1123412244

Hope you enjoy reading it!

In Oneness…

Kayla

8 Dec 2013

MANDELA AND AN ACT OF ONENESS

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Mandela, a man representing equality, justice, democracy, anti-racism… finally, in my terms, Oneness… Has left the physical world 3 days ago to continue his soul’s journey to the future he will create next… Apart from being a political figure, he was profoundly a spiritual one. Let me explain why.

Mandela has fought peacefully for his cause: Anti-Racism, Anti-Poverty, and Justice for all. He was against discrimination of all beings. He not only was for his black brothers and sisters, but also for the white. After all those years he stayed in prison, everyone expected him to be full of rage and anger and that he would get back finally when he was in a position of power. But he didn’t.

Mandela & Oneness

Mandela and An Act of Oneness

He always was very friendly, modest, loyal, relaxed while in conversations, polite, courteous, attentive to everyone no matter what their status would be, and always looked for the best in others. He had a remarkable interest in humanity as a whole… and his actions demonstrated that at every step of the way.

What did motivate Mandela to be so patient over those years in prison? What led him to move on and wait till the time has come? Was it his self-actualizing potential, or his devotion to his ideas and plans or was it the fact that he already knew his time would come?

Well, I think the answer lies in neither of them. For me, Mandela spent and valued each moment for its own sake. Whatever the result would be, he moved on, and as he waited and kept patient all those years… I think he was in full acceptance. He accepted what came to him. But this wasn’t just a passive let go of everything, this was an acceptance of what the universe has to offer after one’s action of who he is. This was in fact oneness, oneness of being and act, oneness of mind, body and soul. Because they were too aligned, they kept Mandela healthy and powerful inside. As he did not separate who he is from his actions or words, he kept on, no matter what result would follow.
He was a man who created his reality each and every day, dreaming and realizing what he stood for.

In loving memory of Nelson Mandela…
With love and oneness…
Kayla Wholey, PhD.

2 Sep 2013

Travel Report: Lisbon

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Lisbon… The city of magnificent history and figures. I’ve visited Lisbon last Spring in March again for a global conference on Spirituality. This time I presented on “What Oneness Means”, a survey I have conducted with members of a spiritual organization. Interesting results came up… however I’d like to talk more about Lisbon and Oneness today.

Lisbon view

Lisbon is no like any other metropolitan. It has a style on its own, a culture and a life style that is so unique to itself. The streets of Lisbon reflect the “respect for the past” where you can see the old stones, buildings and houses kept as it was till today. It is very clean in Lisbon, also very calm, and relaxing. Although the culture has some mediterranean aspects to it, the living style, the understandings of work and societal issues I think are very Western European. The city is very very organized.

Coming to daily habits and behaviors of Lisbonians… They are used to foreigners and visitors so it is easy to get along with them as a foreigner. And I did not feel any prejudice about people from the Eastern side of the world so let’s look at specifically for Oneness behaviors:

  1. Warmth by people towards foreigners-Yes true, as explained above.
  2. Helping behavior-If you ask, definitely but the help you get would not go beyond what you simply ask. As an example, the receptionist in the hotel tried to give me the directions to the center of the city, but he could not explain it much so I had to figure that out myself.
  3. Not feeling as a foreigner inside the city-Definitely. But be careful about the taxis. They might charge you twice if they understand you are coming from another country.
  4. Communicate with you for your needs and concerns-Some know English but some locals may not know the language. And let alone language issues, the Portuguese are experiencing hard Economical problems lately so they may be so busy with what they have to do for work that they may not have the time to spend with you regarding any issues or problems you might be experiencing.
  5. All of us are treated as equals-Exactly,  no problem on that. We are all humans and you feel that in Lisbon.
That makes a total of 3,75 points out of 5 for Lisbon. This rating was based on my 5-day visit to the city so bear that in mind.
With love… in Oneness for Lisbon.
Kayla

 

29 Aug 2013

Travel Report: New York

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New York… New York… So much has already been said and done about the city and my intention is not to write which has already been written so many times: Most famous city in the world, Over-crowded, Attractive, Beautiful, Cosmopolitan, Multi-cultural… All true about the city which I have visited more than 10 times in my lifetime. And each time I visited, I discover something very new about it, as there is so much to learn from the city itself, while the city is so busy to learn from you:)

The multi-culturalism helps with the Oneness spirit to grow in the city. Everybody came from a different place… in the past, this city was the immigration port where all different personalities landed to realize their dreams. Who came here? Who are those people who have crossed the Atlantic saying goodbye to their homelands and their families and friends at home… what kept them coming and coming… What did they desire and wanted to pursue?

I think those were, first and foremost, courageous people, people who loved freedom and chasing after their dreams more than anything. They were so centered in their individuality that the “bonds, the ties, all that which is so hard to cope emotionally” has been replaced with “goal orientation, achievement, personal development…and so on”. And New York, the hub of all those desires and wishes coming to fruit in time… May be that is why you feel so inspired, energetic and positive when in NY!

As we already know by now, Oneness requires self-love, acceptance of other cultures, positive communication..etc.; but it also requires consideration and acting according to that consideration. It is not only in the behaviors of people around you, but it also has to demonstrate itself in symbols, signs, the traffic, the language, and whatever that reflects the culture. For a basic example let’s take the NY subway. Everybody knows it, don’t they? Usually it is not hard to figure out the subway if you study it a bit. However, sometimes even the signs assume that you know what is for what is like “Columbus Circle is actually the Stop for Central Park or Uptown is the area of the Times Square, not the Downtown:) right?”  And NY, compared to its multicultural roots, is also strong in high individuality, therefore, separation. Oneness requires a delicate balance between individuality and collectivism so let’s look at how NY scores:

  1. Warmth by people towards foreigners-Absolutely true. You can see a stranger saying “Hi” to you in a friendly manner in NY and the fact that you are foreigner is something the inhabitants are very used to for centuries.
  2. Helping behavior-depending on the situation, on the venue and the person with whom you are trying to speak to.
  3. Not feeling as a foreigner inside the city-This is evident as everybody is and once was a foreigner.
  4. Communicate with you for your needs and concerns-Depends on who you run into.
  5. All of us are treated as equals-Exactly.

This makes 4 points out of 5 for NY…

Go for Oneness NY!

Kayla

 

29 Aug 2013

Travel Report: Berlin

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Berlin… so much to say… Although the union of the East and West Berlin has transformed the city in all its culture and daily lifestyle, Berlin protects its roots, its history and legacy as Germany’s current capital and the largest city. The old and new is distributed evenly inside the city so you can have many tastes according to your daily preference. If you want to go to a museum, there is a region for that. If you want to go for shopping, it is in another area of town. Everything is organized and categorized in the city so it is easy to find your way. On top of all that almost everyone knows good amount of English language so you can ask someone if you feel really lost or trying to figure your way out.

Germans are known for their industriousness, tidiness and especially punctuality. If you are late for 1 minute to a show or a meeting, that is “late” in Germany so be prompt when you’d like to attend an event, watch a show or a movie in the city.

While going around, one thing that attracted my attention was that especially fathers were main ones taking care of the babies, not the mothers. You can see a man in every corner which is carrying the baby, feeding, and even cleaning the baby. This was striking as I come from a culture where you see the opposite. The baby belongs to the mother, our Turkish culture imposes.

Talking about cultures, there are many Turks living in Berlin, so if you are coming to visit from Turkey, you can find many taxis and waiters and bus drivers who are Turkish therefore who speak Turkish-the few areas in the world where you can have that luxury for Turkish speaking:) However, the most problematic side which has true implications for Oneness concept is the relationship between Turkish and German inhabitants. While talking to the Turkish drivers, I heard from most of them that “there is still racism evident” in the streets of Berlin and that even with the 2nd generation Turks who are born and raised in Berlin, this unfortunately goes on. Coming to the other side, from the German’s side, you can see that Turks are behaving towards them as very “separate” too. This actually accelerates the “separation between both sides” and thus you have the picture of Oneness broken between two cultures.

Let’s look at what we have for the Oneness Behaviors in Berlin:

  1. Warmth by people towards foreigners-you can feel this as this is a metropolitan city so many are used to foreigners walking and shopping around.
  2. Helping behavior-you can surely get help if you ask, if you do not ask, you may or may not depending on who you run into.
  3. Not feeling as a foreigner inside the country-So so.
  4. Communicate with you for your needs and concerns-Depends on who you run into. This may not be true for every German you meet.
  5. All of us are treated as equals-Sometimes.

This makes a total of 3 points for Berlin.

With more Oneness to come in your way Berlin.

Kayla

29 Aug 2013

Travel Report: Cos Island

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Cos is a beautiful Greek Island where Hippocrates was born and raised, was trained at the first known medical center in the world:  Asklepieion.  First and foremost, Cos amazes me because despite its small size, it is one of the most historical sites in the world, attracting millions of tourists from all over. It is an island, where, the father of medicine has lived and taught his practice to his students by the Hippocrates Tree which I also had a chance to see and visit.

Cos Island is full of people with smiles and happiness. People so natural and genuine. People who love what they do and what they present. In spite of the fact that the Greeks have conflictual history with Turks, I have to say, I did not feel any resentment or an opposite reaction towards myself, in fact, I felt the opposite.

Greeks in Cos can help you out if you are lost, they would smile at you if you are looking for something. While knowing the truth about their worldwide heritage and fame, you do not feel any superiority being imposed on you while you are finding your way at the streets of Cos. Although Turks and Greeks are known for their battles, it is also very surprising to see how similar both cultures are in their daily practices, way of relating and communicating. Friendly, fast talks, jokes and laughs fill up the communication.

Coming to Oneness Behavior categories:

  1. Warmth by people towards foreigners-very evident.
  2. Helping behavior-you can surely get help if you ask, if you do not ask, you may or may not depending on who you run into.
  3. Not feeling as a foreigner inside the country-Completely
  4. Communicate with you for your needs and concerns-sure!
  5. All of us are treated as equals-exactly.

This makes almost 5 points for Cos. I think Hippocrates left a great heritage here. You can fee healing and the oneness energy all over.

For the land of Hippocrates… in Oneness.

Kayla