In all change programs, from one-to-one coaching to workshops and to all kinds of personal development courses/seminars, there usually is a step which seems much straightforward conceptually but is usually the hardest to apply when it comes to the real-world context. This step is called Acceptance.
It is usually hard as most people have problems accepting
- Life Experiences
- People they deal with
- Themselves
The first happens especially when the situation is abrupt , negative, or unexpected. It also happens in rare positive cases. The second happens at all levels of closeness and in all relationship types, especially when the other does something that creates negative emotions. The final one very frequently happens when you come into deep awareness of yourself of some sort. You come across a big hurdle that you yourself have created—accepting who you are, your core being.
As children, most of us have been brought up with messages of rejection rather than acceptance. From the time we were born, because of our necessary adaptation to a larger society, sometimes we needed to behave, think, and feel differently from how we would do otherwise. Our parents, who felt responsible for our actions during our developmental period, had to put limitations on us so that we could be adaptable citizens. Therefore, it was easy to learn to reject rather than accept who we are so we could function effectively in this world. This might seem to be a very well-known fact, as it goes without saying, but I can’t tell you how much block this creates in the way of life re-creation. It becomes nearly impossible to discover who we really are.
As a second step, acceptance may not be so easy because of our past issues and the way we are used to seeing ourselves. It requires changing the perspective such as from complaining to really observing, from being problem-oriented to solution-oriented, and from feeling like a victim to feeling like a creator. No matter how hard it might be, it requires accepting others with their faults or mistakes, and accepting ourselves, all of who we are.
But we all should not be misled by thinking that acceptance is all about tolerating the problems or enduring pains. Truly, acceptance is about our own experience so that we can move on to the next level. That next level is about manifestation of desires in the world of relationships, career, finance, abundance, and health.
When people are aware of their life situation and problems, they usually come to a certain realization which may or may not be pleasant. It is usually when people leave or exit any kind of change or transformation process. However, instead of leaving, they need to come to an acceptance of their own selves, including their own experiences. This is a different level in the journey of change and must be considered in its own right.
Why do people give up after awareness? Implicitly all people know that Acceptance is usually very hard to implement starting with our own selves. Most people do not know that acceptance could do magic on the road to manifestation of desires. They also do not know how to use acceptance as a tool for transformation. It is a technique yes, and it takes time to see the results of using it as a tool. A lot of people do not have that patience or do not think some type of endurance is a necessary process to gain anything in life, be it abundance, success, happiness, or health. This way they either quit the change process altogether, or they try to control it completely by manipulating their realities in front of them by constant denial, projection or even through feeling hostility towards others as if they are the cause of that life experience altogether. On a larger scheme of things, people do not realize it is them, their own individual decisions (which may or may not be conscious) that lead to certain outcomes in life, be it expected, unexpected, or both.
Once we start seeing our life situation this way, it might be easier to welcome acceptance to our lives, and thus become ready to use it more as a tool. All we need to see is that Acceptance is usually the missing ingredient which is frequently overlooked in our own change and transformation process.
Now, what do you find hardest to accept?
Send a quick email to ask@groupofchange.com to start the conversation and to start using awareness as a tool.