Contact
Us

Follow on Twitter

Get the
Newsletter

Posted by groupofchange

Q&A

Sample Question  # 1: I have a serious problem in finding my way concerning my career. As an example, I’ve been in and out of jobs for almost 7 years now and seems like none of the professions fit my desires. I seem not to act on my potential. What can you say to me about this problem? Is there a way out of this?

Sample Answer # 1: Up until now, you seem to have moved forward with a trial and error method. This means that, before creating the time to explore yourself and listen to what your soul is yearning for, you have gone into many action steps. This is fine, as long as you don’t lose more time in this method any longer. I would suggest using your previous experience, meaning, how you felt, thought and behaved in certain circumstances that did not fit with who you are. The key will be to see those misfits and then understanding that which reflects more of you. This can be a complete new career, starting a business of your own or going into a complete different industry. The time you spend does not matter as long as you now spend it for exploring yourself but not for trying yourself over and over again.

Sample Question # 2: I am in a relationship that is on and off sometimes. My partner seems to withdraw himself from the relationship whenever there is a problem that needs to be discussed. We do not seem to get along well when it comes to working out our problems and issues. As an example, last night we had an argument about “not spending quality time together”. He insisted on seeing everything as fine, and I did the opposite. I love my partner but I don’t seem to know “how to change his perspective about our relationship”.

Sample Answer # 2: When it comes to the world of relationships, there is no “one right answer”. But let me start by saying that our relationships reflect us who we are to our own selves. So I would suggest shifting the word “he” to “I” and see what is coming. Are you also not in touch with your own problems sometimes? Please think deep in this and please do not divert attention to your partner for now. Are you having the life you want in all ways? Are you in communication with you all-ways? How about your daily life, career life, financial and social life? Are they the way you want them to be or are there problems that you are not looking into right now? Are you having a quality time with your-self?

What I would suggest is, first go deep into “your private life” first, and then look at your relationship-and see what happens. Again no change? Consult a relationship therapist as relationships which are stuck at some point definitely require an objective external source of support.

Sample Question # 3: I have a child who is 3 years old. She is a very active child, having no problems in processing information and learning new ways of doing this. However, recently, she started to behave very angrily towards us, her mother and father. As an example, when she wants something and we prevent it even for safety reasons, she acts out and it is almost impossible to stop her from crying. This type of problem has increased in frequency recently and we are wondering if we should take her to a child therapist or not.

Sample Answer #3: First of all, please be aware that it is very normal for a child of 3 to behave this way. Children at this age see everything as extension of themselves, meaning that they are at a very egocentric stage. Even their perspectives are only related to their own and they are not able to see how others think or feel in a certain circumstances. This is true also with your reactions as mom and dad. She is not aware of the pain she is causing you at this moment. First thing you can do before you go to a therapist is that, try to note and monitor those situations in which she is acting that way-angry, insisting, acting out…etc. And from there you may realize some patterns-similarities in situations or events. Look if you can gain some understanding from those patterns and if there is a way of acting on it. As an example, she might do this especially during the time when she is left alone or when she is already angry with something else. Find the source and then see if you can change the situation like eliminate that situation altogether or change it when she is angry.

If you feel like lost and incapable of doing any of this altogether, immediately consult a therapist-I would first suggest you and your husband go first before you take your child.

Sample Question #4: I feel that life is not fair. It’s been like that since I was a child. I am now in the middle of a depressive period, and in these kinds of periods my energy drops immensely and I don’t feel like doing anything, even consulting a therapist or a psychiatrist. And this is why I think that some people are very lucky not to have depression. I think I am being punished by many things in life including things I did and did not do. Nobody around understands me or seems to be able to help me. Even while writing these words, I feel more and more useless and exhausted. Do you think my condition is helpless?

Sample Answer #4: This way of thinking reflects you might be having a mild-mid level depression. However, it is important to understand the repetition of these periods and if they correspond to any triggering event in your life. Sometimes, in prolonged problems like this, it is important to see and explore the times and periods. Please look at how long this has lasted in the past, and how many times. Was there an important event in your life? It can be negative or positive, depending on one’s perspective. The important point to keep in mind here is that “everything in our lives has a reason” and that there is “no one after us”. We are our own enemies, but because we do not know what kind of creators we are, and how our own perspective of things changes everything, we feel like trapped. And I see you feel that way too. In this kind of period, do something that you did not do before, which is taking action even though you do not feel like doing it. Feel like doing it is not the same as doing it. So do it and please get back to me immediately if you feel worse. In these periods, it might also be a good decision to consult a psychiatrist to see if you also need medication to help you act more easily and swiftly.

Sample Question #5: I have a big problem and I believe this is social anxiety. Whenever I am about to give a speech or a presentation, my whole body is shaken and I feel like I am falling apart. I always think of what is next to happen, how everyone will react…etc. And in my job, I have to perform these kinds of stage tasks so I think I will need to solve this problem asap or I will need to leave this job. What do you think? Is this related to my past or present? How can I easily move on to solving this problem?

Sample Answer #5: Social Anxiety is one of those problems which might have many many roots including the past experience, the job itself, and our perspectives on the others. The root can be one of those, or sometimes all of it can contribute to it at different levels. In this kind of situation, please try to see everything from a bigger angle meaning that ask these following questions to your own self  such as:

  • Are there experiences in my past that were negative where I was ridiculed, judged, harshly criticized or misunderstood by others?
  • Am I really fond my job or do I have problems with it?
  • Am I seeing the others (all people other than me) as enemies, antagonists, or negative people who are after me and who are always looking at me from a “deficiency angle”?
  • How do I see myself in general? Do I ever appreciate who I am? Did I ever like what I did in my earlier days?

The answer to one or more of these questions can be the key to the solution of your problem.

For Q&As, you can send a quick email to ask@groupofchange.com